The Thing with Feathers

I'm not sure anyone reads this anymore. Probably not because I don't post anything here anymore. But I still have a link so I thought I should tell you that if you want to know whats going on, you'll find out a lot more by going to my myspace page. 

Just in case you don't want to put out that effort:

- I'm still looking for a job but I have a few leads.
- My grandfather is really sick. My grandmother is unable to do much. My brother still has MD. Even without a job it seems like I'm always busy doing something. So I'm emotionally drained and could really use a night out with friends or something.
- I miss all my old buddies. You know who you are.
- I've been thinking a lot about a guy I haven't talked to in about a year. I have no idea why.
- I want to kidnap Mike's bird.
- Hot chocolate sounds great right now.
- I love fall.

Things are so much better when you stop being annoyed and start laughing about it.

nevermind.

You won't find any answers here.

I have to go into the school tomorrow and say goodbye to the kids.  Normally I feel kinda sad about this. Last semester I was thouroughly depressed about it. This semester....I don't really care that much. Its really bad but I just got to a point where I stopped caring.  I just wanted to be done.

I bought my cap and gown today. I have a blue tassel. That's kind of weird.

I'm hoping that whatever I have goes away soon... I'm getting sick of blowing my nose. Stupid sinus issues.

Oh! And I finally bought a bathing suit today too. So that's happy.

Welp. I have things to do tomorrow before going to the school so I'm hitting the sack. Talk at you later, friends.

So I guess all those feelings of not being adequate or competent must have been true.  Its nice to find out at the end of my college career.  Its nice to have a university coordinator who on two occasions did not show up or showed up an hour late to your scheduled meeting time.  Its nice to have a university coordinator who, when they finally do come, tell you that it has to be quick because they have another appointment...even though they were the one who was late and its your portfolio that you've been freaking out about for the last few weeks.

Its nice to end your last year of college feeling like a failure (knowing I'm not but feeling like one.)

I don't want to write anymore. I have to pack for the convention and then I don't want to think for the rest of the night.

"...and then on the back you can have a peacock. And then you can say "Millie- I turn students from toads to peacocks!"

My dad is ridiculous.

Of course, so am I.

Matt is designing my business cards (yes, I have business cards) and I've got to tell you...they are pretty cool. Later on, if we have more time, I'm going to have Matt add some stuff to it. Like...make the peacock reading with glasses or something.  So far it looks pretty cool though.

My portfolio is sort of coming along. There's a lot that I don't have for it yet. So I don't feel completely confident about it but I knew that I wouldn't. I know I'm going to be working on this through the summer too.

Its due on Wednesday. Yikes!

Welp. I'm also going to be a bridesmaid for my lovely friend Melissa. I'm excited. I've never been asked to be a bridesmaid before and the other bridesmaids are Melissa's sisters whom I love. So it should be lots of fun.

Anyhoo. Its late and I'm sick. I'm going to go drug myself (not lethal drugs, mind you) and go to bed.

Later kiddos.

I left school in a funk today. 

I ended up feeling the need to just wander around Target. It ended up being good because I needed to buy some food for Sammy but also bad because I happened to wander through the bathing suit section and tried a couple on. Note: Never try on a bathing suit when you're already feeling bad. Anyway...

I don't know why. I got to do a lot of really cool things today. This program called Science Alive came into the school today and visited each room.  The guy came in with a baby alligator, a chinchilla, a burmese python, an armadillo, and the last animal he brought in was a certain type of cockatoo. The cockatoo was so adorable. He was very calm right up until the guy was about to walk out of the room. We all started laughing at a joke the guy made and the bird put his plume up and started laughing with us. And when Jason was laughing so hard he was practically screaming, the cockatoo started screaming too. And it was so cuddly. It kept sticking its head inside the guys shirt.

Even with all the excitement... I just felt really unsure of myself or something as I was leaving the school. My CT barely gave me a second glance today and left the room chatting like old friends with her last student teacher. And I always feel that way... that I am second rate.

Anyway, I don't like having these thoughts. I haven't had thoughts like this in awhile. And it hit quite unexpectedly.

I'm going to do yoga. I just bought a mat.

And a blue duck.

Or so says my brother.

I really don't know why I wrote that.

You can call me the crayfish whisperer. I saved one from drowning in a pool of decomposing catfood infested water.  You're probably thinking "WHAT?"  I'm not going to explain it. Sorry.

I was thinking on my way home from dinner tonight and I think I'm going to research special teaching opportunities in other cities and states. My mom sent me something from Oakland University that sounded interesting but not exactly up my alley and I wonder if there are other things out there similar to it. (It would be nice to move out to Boston though.)  I just really want to go do something different. I just need to know where to find it, I guess.


I have two weeks of official student teaching left...but of those two weeks- one day we have off, two days I'll be gone for the MACUL conference, and two days I'm going to be leaving for part of the time to do some observations in other classes. Plus, I still have to go to a Board of Education meeting, And write out a management plan. AHHHHH!

Um...but wait.... 24 is on. And I have to watch Jack save the U.S. again. I mean, come on! A girl has priorities. Watch dude save the day...then work on stuff that you'd rather not do. Right? Riiiiiiight. 


P.S. I love Carla. And it made my heart so damn happy to see her today.